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IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE !
Subject: .: Important Recall
IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE !
The maker of all human
beings
is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect
in the primary and central component of the heart. This recall
is due to malfunction in the original prototype units code
named Adam and
Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in
all subsequent
units.
This defect has been
technically termed: 'Subsequential Internal
Non-Morality', or what
is commonly known as S-I-N, and is primarily evidenced by loss of
moral judgment.
Other symptoms include:
(a) Loss of direction
(b) Foul vocal emissions
(c) Amnesia of origin, AKA evolution fantasy
(d) Lack of peace and joy
(e) Selfish, and/or violent behavior
(f) Depression and/or confusion in the mental component
(g) Fearfulness
(h) Idolatry
(i) Failure to operate in harmony with the manufacturers
instructions.
The manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this
defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service,
free of charge to correct the SIN defect. The number to
call for the recall station in your area is P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN by
pressing: R-E-P-E-N-T-A-N-C-E.
Next, download J-E-S-U-S into the heart. No matter how big
or how small the SIN defect may be, the JESUS repair will replace
it with:
(a) Love
(b) Joy
(c) Peace
(d) Long-suffering
(e) Gentleness
(f) Goodness
(g) Faith
(h) Meekness
(i) Temperance
Please see operators manual, THE HOLY BIBLE, for further
details on the use of these repairs.
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human machinery without correction,
voids the manufacturer's warranty, exposing owner to
serious dangers and problems too numerous to list but which will
result in the human unit being permanently impounded by an
adversarial competitor of the manufacturer.
For free emergency service 24 hours a day, call on J-E-S-U-S.
DANGER: All human units not responding to this recall
action will ultimately have to be scrapped in the fire because
the
SIN defect must not enter heaven else all heaven would become
infected.
This Recall notice authorized by: The Creator.
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